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The World Needs Janet Jackson’s Boobs Now More Than Ever

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You don’t know what you got till it’s gone.

1. Janet Jackson was the leading diva of the late ’80s and early ’90s. She sold over 140 million records in her career. She was the original Beyoncé.


2. But she’s kept a low profile recently. In 2010 she appeared in Tyler Perry’s For Colored Girls, in 2011 she began her Number Ones, Up Close and Personal tour, and then…nothing.


3. And everyone wants to know: WHERE IS JANET?

4. She is depriving the world of pure joy by dropping out of the spotlight with her billionaire husband. We need the music!

5. We need the choreography!

6. And most importantly, we need her cleavage back!

Henning Kaiser / Getty Images

7. You may have been a gay man like me, too busy grooving to her hits to notice, but they’re perfect.



8. She can’t keep her hands off them!






10. Actually, no one can keep their hands off them.

Rolling Stone

11. Janet Jackson clones can’t not touch them!




12. They’re up close and personal during concerts…

Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

13. …and they’re always on the red carpet.

Stephen Lovekin / Getty Images

Andreas Rentz / Getty Images

15. Even For Colored Girls director Tyler Perry knew where to focus his camera.


16. Sometimes she plays coy with sheer fabric.



17. She tries to cover up and contain the power.

Stan Honda / Getty Images

18. But even at fancy events like the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Gala, the girls are out in full force.

Larry Busacca / Getty Images

19. Janet’s boobs CANNOT BE CONTAINED!





20. Jennifer Lopez has tried to take the crown as the chestiest diva.

Jason Merritt / Getty Images

Jason Merritt / Getty Images


21. Nicki Minaj has tried too.

Jason Merritt / Getty Images



22. But there is only one Miss Jackson, if you’re nasty.

Carlo Allegri / Getty Images



23. Come back, Janet! Don’t let the world hide your light under a bushel!



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